The Difference in Dating Versus Marriage Today

 While a person wonders whether to get married or continue to date, questions about the pros and cons of either option will likely arise. Dating provides the opportunity to build a secure foundation before entering into the marriage commitment, but also offers less stability in relationships. Dating involves the process of going out with an individual for the pleasure of their company and shared interests. It is also commonly referred to as “courting” or “going out”. Marriage, on the other hand, is a legally binding commitment to one individual with which there is an intimate bond which matures over time. Marriage lowers depression risk, but also may result in financial constraints, especially if a couple marries at a very young age. Marriage is usually a progression from dating. Both types of relationships can be fulfilling for those involved yet still have their separate advantages and disadvantages which are linked to physical, mental and financial well-being.

I dated my husband for 6 years before we got married. I think there were several pros to this but we were that couple that did everything backwards. Moved in, had a child, rented a new home, bought a car and THEN got married! It seems like the new norm doing things backwards but to be totally honest, I think it actually helped build our foundation for a strong relationship. We learned so much about each other in the beginning especially when we moved in together.

we met

I think doing this early on in a relationship helps you figure out if it will work. I had to adjust to him having an 8 year old daughter as his attention had to be split between two people now. I had never dated someone with a child before so I was not sure how to act. It was an adjustment for all of us. He was the clean freak and I was the go-with-the-flow type. I could sleep in and he wanted to be up when the sun was coming up. I don’t know if this had anything to do with our age gap (7 years) but it was something we had to adjust to. As time went on, we starting turning into each other. Now, every Saturday morning I am the cleaning police in our house and he likes to chill on the couch drinking his coffee. BUT, I wouldn’t change it for anything.

My how things change between dating and marriage.

It was all lovey dovey and hugs and kisses in the beginning. We were inseparable and life of the party everywhere we went. We had our fights and actually separated for awhile after I had our son. I know this was partly due to our age difference and maturity levels. So funny thinking back to how we acted in the beginning and how we act today. We got married last March and we are completely different from 6 years ago. Trust me, we still have our fights/arguments and we might still be the life of the party when we actually go out but our relationship could not be stronger. Our kids take up most of our time and attention but we make sure to do date night once a month. Spending time together without kids is crucial to a marriage.

fistpump

Here are a few examples of how things have changed for us:

Dating: Taking shots all night
Marriage: Taking shots of Benadryl

Dating: Bar Hopping
Marriage: Sam’s Club!

Dating: Keeping all your money to yourself
Marriage: “He will know if I buy that… I shouldnt”

Dating: Cut-off shorts & cleavage
Marriage: Mom jeans & oversized t’s

Dating: Talking on the phone for hours.
Marriage: “Why are you calling me?”

Dating: Comedy Clubs
Marriage: Elmo “Live”

Dating: Foreplay
Marriage: Why are you touching me?

Dating: Shaving daily.
Marriage: I belong in the forest!

Dating: Meeting friends after work
Marriage: Rushing home to cook, clean, go to bed

Dating: Gifts!!
Marriage: “How can you forget our anniversary?”

Dating: Sexy talk
Marriage: “Why are you whispering?”

You can probably relate to at least one of these.

Being in the dating world today, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I have been out of the dating scene for awhile but it seems to be harder to meet people than it used to be. Everyone has settled with meeting people online or through dating apps. I have nothing against these but I going places and physically putting yourself out there is important. I love hearing all about other people’s love stories. Finding love is not the easiest thing but once you have it, there is more work to be done.

perfect

I have always been one to take advice from others when it comes to relationships. Here are 10 pointers that I have always kept in the back of my head that I think are truly helpful.

10 Helpful Relationship Pointers:

 1. Don’t let the other person change you. Always be true to who you are. God made you the way you are for a reason.

2. Build a genuine friendship…one in which you can always be yourself. Hopefully, you’ll be marrying your best friend when you say “I do.”

3. Don’t forget about those who have always been in your life through the good and bad times. They still exist.

4. Get to know their family and friends. You’ll need to know the people who have the greatest impact in their lives – besides you! This will probably give you something to pray for. Not sure if you have heard this before but when you marry someone, you are marrying their entire family.

5.  Don’t allow the other person to isolate you.

6. Make sure that you continue to improve yourself. Do not stop pursuing your personal ambitions because in the long run, they will  benefit the both of you.

7. Don’t start skipping things you love doing: running, shopping, seeing a movie, going to church and of course hanging with your friends.

8. Start setting goals together. This is a perfect time to begin to develop teamwork.

9. Make sure you never neglect or take your mate for granted. Remember, nothing just happens. Neglect begins subtly and over time, can be devastating to your relationship. Make a point to show your appreciation on a regular basis and don’t let your responsibilities negate the importance of spending time with the one you care about.

10. Be patient. He/She is not perfect, and neither are you.  If you see something that raises an eyebrow, take note but don’t put on your track shoes.

And of course my favorite…. Don’t quit!!

Thanks for following my blog and I hope you loved reading these 🙂

Has dating and marriage changed for you? What advise do you always follow when it comes to relationships?

Brittany 🙂

Advertisements

22 thoughts on “The Difference in Dating Versus Marriage Today

  1. Loved reading about your love story! It is so true that things change so much once you get married. My husband and I also dated 6 years prior to getting married (4 of those years were long distance). We aren’t perfect and we argue at times about the stupidest things but at the end of the day there is no better feeling than being married to your best friend!

    You two are such a beautiful couple & I loved reading this! xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So very true!! I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. 2 years were long distance and involved a cross country move from home and the last 2 living together. There were definitely some rough times and we have both changed and grown SO much over the last 4 years. So glad we have waited to get married and grown together. My favorite advice is DON’T QUIT. So many people give up on marriage too quickly these days. Love your blog!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s always refreshing to read an honest post like this. I’m 21 and I’ve never even been on date before. I agree when you say people have settled for meeting online or through dating apps. I might be quite old fashioned but I’ve never signed up to any dating site or app and I believe it will happen when the time is right.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Aw, I love this post SO much! Your dating vs marriage list had me LOL-ing!!! And your relationship pointers are spot on! I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 7 years + we’ve gone through so many phases as well — but I’m grateful we’re both able to grow as individuals and together! Such a sweet post! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love this post, it’s so cute! Your relationship story with your husband is absolutely precious! I definitely understand what you mean with doing everything backwards and being complete opposites. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 4 years now. We dealt with long distance for a year and a half before moving in together 2 years ago. We bought a house a year ago and moved back home from California to Florida. We’ve settled into our routines and although marriage is in our future, I feel like we’re already there. We’re complete opposites in a lot of ways, but always joke about the “opposites attract” saying. I guess it’s true after all! I definitely think doing all these things before marriage has made us stronger and I can’t wait to take that next big step. I can totally relate to almost all of those dating vs. marriage situations and really enjoyed all of the relationship pointers you mentioned!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Christina! I completely agree with all of this… Cherish these moments with your best friend and always remember why you started! The fights, arguments and low times are always just little bumps in the road but you understand each other during these times. Thanks for reading 🙂

      Like

  6. Love your blog! I am dying laughing at your Dating vs. Marriage snapshot! So true!!

    I’ve always believed that a couple SHOULD live together prior to getting married. You learn so much about a person behind closed doors. All of their annoying habits and pet peeves. My husband and I were backwards also. We started dating and living together within 4 months. We lived with both sets of parents in the 3 years we dated, then bought a house, got engaged & pregnant, married then had the baby all in less than one year. But we wouldn’t have it any other way!

    Erin
    http://www.topknotsandsweatpants.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for following!! I think everyone has their relationship advise but I know living together and having a child before marriage really worked for us… You appreciate each other more and marriage is more than just a ring. You are a team! Look forward to reading more about you 🙂

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s